Stuck in the sidelines
by DolphinPatronus22
Summary: 3. the sidelines a position of observing a situation rather than being directly involved in it. Ron's POV. H\Hr.


_**Stuck on the sidelines.**_

**Okay, here I am again. So, people. This is from Ron's POV (obviously) I think that the title is quite fitting, don't you think? **

_**3. (the sidelines) a position of observing a situation rather than being directly involved in it.**_

**That just pretty much sums up how everyone else feels when Harry and Hermione are in the same room together. It's long, isn't it? I feel quite happy and accomplished with myself because I've been writing a lot. *victory dance* **

**I like this Mature and Understanding Ron more than the Immature and Jealous Ron. Honestly, he's got to grow up some time, doesn't he? I can feel Ron's angst in this.**

**Well, I'll just leave you to read. I'm aware that I must've repeated the words **_**jealousy, quite, always, understand, **_**and**_** choose**_** like a million times, for that I apologize.**

**Like always, I don't own this. J.K. Rowling does. If I owned **_**Harry Potter, **_**Harry and Hermione would've ended up together, and we would've seen more of Harry's Parseltongue ability.**

I've always been left out.

No, this isn't me being jealous, it's the truth. It's just the way they are.

The way they always have been.

It's always been there, I suppose I was just too wrapped up in my self-pity and jealousy to notice it until much later. But, yes, it was always there, in the way they seemed to know what the other was thinking, in the way they moved instinctively together, in the way they just looked at each other. It was always there, even though most of us never noticed a thing.

Well, not exactly.

Rita. Cho. Viktor. My mum. Dumbledore. McGonagall. _Me_.

I did notice some things. Ever since 6th year, when she had said the thing about him being _more fanciable than ever_, I started to look out for them. For the signs, the subtle signs.

I'm not as dense as they make me out to be, you know.

I don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Only when it comes to her.

Only when it comes to Hermione.

The girl I bickered and fought with.

The girl who kissed me.

_The girl I returned for_.

Sometimes, I just can't help but think: _I returned for her, and he didn't. He didn't!_

But only because he never left her.

Ah, yeah, that.

He never left her, just like she never left him.

I admit it took me a while to understand, to accept it, but I finally have.

It isn't about her choosing him over me, or he beating me at anything.

No, it isn't about that, I can see that now.

It was those words.

Those four words:

"_I'll go with you!"_

Merlin.

It was when I understood.

I expected to feel jealousy, but I didn't. I kind of felt…detached. Like I wasn't there, like I wasn't part of that moment.

And to be honest, I wasn't.

When they hugged each other, it just broke my heart. And not because she had "chosen" him again, not, it was because right there, I knew. Right there, I saw what I had been fighting to see for the past two years.

There she was, offering herself to _die_, handing him her life, damn the consequences, she wanted to go with him, and there he was, refusing point blank, because he knew what would happen if she went with him.

It was when I understood.

She hadn't chosen him over me. I was never an option.

Well, no- that's a lie. I may have been an option for a while; I may have been an option when she kissed me, or when I came back. But, he was always there, always had been, probably ever since we saved her from the troll.

I'm not jealous.

I think that that's the best part, I'm not jealous, I'm not bitter. I have accepted it and I know exactly what I have to do next.

I have to let her go.

To him.

I love her, I still do. And maybe, just maybe, so does she.

But she also loves him. In a way she doesn't love me. In a way she'll never love me.

And I'm okay with that.

Really, I am.

I've always been left out.

I've always been stuck in the sidelines.

It's just the way they are.

**THE WAY THEY ARE….**

_THE WAY THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN._

Well, here I go.

I've never been good with words, and, according to her, I _still_ have the emotional range of a teaspoon, but I have to try. For me. For her. For him. For them. For us.

"Hermione? Can I talk to you for a second?"

She looks up at me, surprised. "Okay?"

I quickly glance at him and then back at her. "Alone."

Her eyes go slightly round and she frowns, and he tenses, just a little, you can barely notice it, but his eyes narrow just an inch.

He recovers quickly, stands up and grins at us, but it doesn't really reach his eyes.

Her eyes follow him until he goes through the door.

I sit down next to her and can't help but notice that she's changed her position; I can't help but notice that the way she sits next to him and the way she sits next to me are different somehow.

I take a deep breath and just get straight to the point.

"I think we should breakup."

I can tell I've caught her off guard because she chokes on her own breath. "What?"

Come on, Hermione, don't let your intelligence fail you know. I just hope she doesn't pull a Lavender on me.

"I think we shou-"

"I heard you, but _why_?"

I look into her eyes and…there's hurt there, yes, confusion, but there's also something else I can't quite place.

Her eyes dart to the closed door. It's just for a split-second, but I see them move to the door. As if waiting for him, calling for him.

"Because we can't do it. I mean, I- you kissed me three weeks ago, yeah, but I-I love you, I think I do. But- there's…another thing, Hermione."

"And what's that?"

She's strangely calm.

"Harry."

Her eyes go round again.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"It's always been Harry, hasn't it?"

She winces. I know what she's thinking about.

"_I get it. You choose him."_

I wish that she knew how sorry I was –am- for saying those words to her.

"No, that's not what I mean. I know that it isn't about choosing, I understood everything when you told him that you'd go with him. I unde-"

Suddenly, I can't speak anymore because there's quite the amount of hair in my mouth. She's hugging me and gripping me quite tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." she keeps repeating it over and over.

"No," I tell her. I don't want her to apologize. "it's okay. Honestly, I-I understand now, really."

She draws back and I see tears in her eyes.

"A-are you sure?"

"Positive."

"I'm sorry, Ron. I-"

"_I know_. Hey, it's okay, we're still going to be best friends and I'm still going to fight with you every chance I get." I smile at her, I know she needs it.

She chuckles.

"Thank you."

I nod.

She kisses my cheek and hugs me again. The little tingly feeling is still there, maybe not as strongly, but I know that I've done the right thing.

"Go to him."

"I…I…_Ginny_."

"I'll talk to her."

"She's going to hate me. And so will your mum."

"No they won't. Don't worry, I'll talk to them. But, tell me, do I still have the emotional range of a teaspoon?"

She holds my face in both hands and then she smiles so brightly and the tears fall again.

"No, I think it's grown to a whole bucket now."

"Good for me."

"Thank you, Ron. Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, stop stalling. _Go_."

She brushes the tears away from her eyes and stands up. She holds out her hand, asking me if I'm going outside with her. I shake my head.

"Don't be scared."

"I'm not." Her whole face is lit up; she looks like a Christmas tree.

When I see her like this, when I see her…_glowing_ the way she is right now, I feel so…happy. For me. For her. For him. For them. For us.

There are so many emotions in her eyes, in her face, and I'm not surprised when her eyes fill with tears again.

But they don't fall.

When she walks by me, her hand brushes the top of my head and my eyes close at her touch.

I don't regret what I did.

I'm glad I did it.

I've always been left out.

I've always been stuck in the sidelines.

It's just the way they are.

**Well, that was…unexpected. I don't know why but I really, **_**really, really**_** like this.**

**I feel like I kind of understand Ron, just like Dumbledore did:**

"_**He must have known**__**I'd want to**__**leave you**_**." **

**"**_**No**_**,**_**he must have known you would**__**always want to**__**come back**_**." – Deathly Hallows.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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